I’m a Middle-Aged Teenager: A synopsis of why I say screw your age

I’m 47 years old.

Let’s just put it out there for the world to hear. I’m pushing middle age…as my children like to so often remind me.

In fact, just the other day I asked my 21-year-old if my forehead was too big and if I should get bangs. She replied with, “When exactly did you hit your mid-life crisis?”

Ungrateful child.

But let’s get back to what I was trying to say.

In two and a half years, I will be 50.


But that being said, it doesn’t bother me. To be honest, I don’t mind getting older just as long as I don’t feel old; however, there are many people who think someone like me should act their age.

It’s said that by the time someone like me hits their mid-forties, one should no longer fawn over attractive celebrities. We should cut off all of our hair, wear sensible bras and granny-panties, stop coloring our hair, stop listening to music that doesn’t suit our age or gender (whatever the hell that means), and sit at home watching Hallmark movies while cutting coupons.

But for as long as I can remember, I was never one to follow the norm. Even when I was young, I was stubborn and did what I wanted…within reason, of course. When other kids were reading comic books or short chapter books in the third grade, I was reading literary classics like Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Shakespeare, and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. While some girls I went to high school with pretended to be someone they weren’t and did things they shouldn’t just to be accepted by the boys they liked, I remained true to myself. Granted, my love life sucked the big one all through high school because of it, but it didn’t matter. And growing up, my mouth often got me into trouble with the adults around me because I spoke my mind and went against what they thought I should believe, standing by my own convictions.

Even today, I have vastly different opinions on what I consider right and wrong with most of my family members.

But I’m getting off-track here.

I am expected to act a certain way at 47 and should only be interested in things that 47-year-olds should be interested in.

Wine tastings. Super sappy romance movies. Yoga class. Bowling with friends. (Actually, I have no idea what normal 47-year-olds are into, so I’m just guessing here.)

But I have zero interest in any of those things. As for me, I think I already touched on the fact that I’m not normal, and I’m fine with it.

For example, I quit the Corporate world to become a full-time author eighteen months ago and haven’t looked back once, nor do I regret it. While I haven’t been able to get the amount of writing and projects completed as I would have liked, I am still doing what I love. The fact that I walked away from a nine-to-five desk job to write books seems juvenile to some. People my age should be looking ahead to the future and creating stability in their lives. I should be wearing sensible shoes and should be taking a weekend foxtrot class with my husband while I garden, focusing on the organic vegetables growing in my backyard. (Again…no idea what people my age are supposed to be doing.)

But I don’t aspire to do any of those things.

And I also don’t care.

Other people’s opinions of what or who I should be doesn’t affect me.

So, after rambling on, here is my point: I recently joined a YouTube channel to react to various music videos from various Asian countries. Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese, Thai, Japan, and even something called Qpop from the country of Kazakhstan.

Why as a published author would I do such a thing?


Because I want to.

For me, music is a huge part of my writing process. Depending on the genre I’m listening to—whether it’s a ballad or a hard-driving rock song—whether it’s a love song or a break-up jam—it all affects whatever I’m writing in that moment.

Ninety-nine percent of the music I listen to isn’t even in English. To be honest, I will listen to anything as long as it’s good. I’m more about talent, whether or not the lyrics connect me to the artist, and how the melody and rhythm move me more than the entertainment value itself which is probably why I’m so drawn to Asian music as a whole.

And while the music videos for Korean, Japanese, and Kazakh idol groups have great production value, it isn’t why I’m drawn to a song. Sometimes, I feel like there are artists who place too much of their value on their music videos to draw fans in rather than sheer talent, and those are the artists I pay little attention to.

Flash forward to my new gig as a contributor to the KDarlings YouTube channel. Regina and Sabrina started the channel to react to Kpop videos and Kdramas. Eventually, I was brought in to help them out primarily with some of the non-Korean requests they were getting to help lighten their load a bit…AND I AM LOVING IT!

Recently, I discovered something called Qpop. It’s a genre whose idol groups are from the country of Kazakhstan. Not exactly a country I would have suspected to have any type of music industry, right? And before I watched my first Qpop video, my initial reaction is probably like yours right now.

“What the hell is Qpop?”

But I jumped in feet first and haven’t looked back. In fact, I am drawn to the beat and drive of the Qpop songs I’ve heard so far and can’t wait to hear more. I’ve also discovered various Japanese and Chinese groups and soloists as well as some rock bands from Japan. With every new song I discover, my library of music continues to grow as does the inspiration for future books and screenplays I will write.

When all is said and done, it doesn’t matter whether you are rolling your eyes at me right now or not. I’m doing me. I’m following my heart and learning more about the world on my terms. In fact, I’m having more fun these days doing what I want to do than when I was doing what people expected me to do. It’s unfortunate that it took these many years to discover my passions in life.

Why does any of this matter to you? Why do you care what I’m doing in my forties? And why is any of this relevant whatsoever?

If you find something you’re passionate about, you do you. Embrace your dark, silly side. After all, how many people out there cheer for a sports team every weekend as if it’s a religion? How many of those same people have multiple t-shirts hanging in their closets with their favorite athlete’s name written on the back? How many people are into superhero movies and have various figurines of those characters setting on shelves in their house? How many people out there dress up and go to various comic book conventions?

What it comes down to is this…Many people are into something that others would find uninteresting or just plain stupid. But it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks as long as it makes you happy. So, let them have their sports teams and comic books. You embrace whatever it is you love that may or may not be age appropriate. If you have haters out there who make fun of you for your interests and obsessions, just remember…they don’t live your life…you do.

So, screw acting your age. Act according to who you truly are on the inside.

And love who you are…regardless of age.

Find my segment every Sunday on the KDarlings1 YouTube Channel.

KDarlings on YouTube